I was apprehensive about today's run because my last two runs have been so good and almost easy. I was hoping that it wasn't just a fluke.
Tonight I set out to go around the Rose Bowl. It was cold, ever so cold (by SoCal standards, so like 60). As I was running, I was thinking about how far I've come. I'm still running the same circle, but now I'm actually running and almost enjoying it. Almost. It's still really hard.
Once when Matt and I were waiting for the Indonesian embassy to give us visas, we went on a tour of friends. While visiting one friend in Dallas, we went to the dog park with her. This beautiful white dog walked over and stood in front of me. I made polite conversation with the owner about its breed and such. Then it peed on me. I have held a grudge against this dog since. Tonight a dog very similar to that beautiful white dog ran into me. I was able to mostly dodge it, but I was not pleased. I think this particular breed has it out for me.
Tonight's run was my fastest yet, my pace down to 11:20 min/mile average. I kept having to slow myself down. I like going fast, but don't yet have the stamina to maintain that speed. I finished the three miles in 34 minutes (and 5 seconds). I'm proud of that. Four months ago I couldn't run a quarter of a mile without feeling like I would collapse. Now I'm really running and even passing people on occasion!
Last night I had my worst race anxiety dream yet. In the dream I had showed up at the starting line only to realize I was in jeans and a t-shirt (and underclothes completely unsuitable for running). I didn't have my number bib thing. I didn't have my shoes or the little thing that goes on my shoe to time the run. The guy who was telling the people when to go held all the people back to wait for me to get my things ready, but I couldn't figure out where my running clothes were or how to get them.
I woke up from this dream to find email notifications of more donations. This almost alleviated the anxiety from the dream. I am amazed and overwhelmed by all the kind words and support that my friends, family, and even strangers have shown. For the few of you who read this, thank you. It means a lot to me to know that I have such wonderful people backing me.